Archive for the ‘General’ Category


Venture vs. Kitty

August 26, 2004

Man , oh MAN!  I sometimes forget how much I love performing in Lethbridge. I got to see a bunch of buddies, which was nice.  I got to see my brother, which was nice.  I got to go down with Kerry Unger, pretend to harass the OnStar on call people, and hit a cat…which was nice.  Incidentally, I didn’t hit the cat, Kerry was driving, I just cheered on the van.

Oh yeah! we drove a Venture vaaan – completely unecessary.  I thought that we should have at least tried to kidnap/torture someone.  Or drive slowly through a school zone…you’re supposed to drive through school zones slowly anyway.  Well, at the very least I think we had a cat questioning it’s ability to outrun a Venture vaaan.  We’re pretty sure it was okay though, it ran off, which dead cat’s aren’t typically known to do.  It also wasn’t so much a squishy/bumpy sound as it was a double thump of a cat head bouncing off of a Venture vaaan exhaust system.

BUMP-KLUMP! You go kitty. You go Venture.


Buy My CD

August 22, 2004

The online store is up. If you don’t have my CD yet you can get it from the site. If you already have my CD…you can get it from the site.

Some of the formatting has changed. Again, this will be one of the ongoing changes to continuously improve your perusing enjoyment. There have been new links added to the links page and the warning page.

Oh, and the online store is up. You can buy my CD there.


Joe Cartoon, Tour Info, and Bubbles

August 19, 2004

Ever been bored?  Stupid question, you’re here after all.  Joe cartoon can kill an hour or so with zaniness and general f*ckeduptitude.  Atomfilms is another good place to check out some online short flick craziness.

I’ve added some updates to the links section, and the bio area is coming around with some in-depth investigations and revelations of my past…and yours too.

I have some new shows through B.C. coming up, and I’ll be in Lethbridge August 24th at the Blarney Stone with Kerry Unger.  F*ckin’ give’er!

Other than that, I’m adding some new pictures to Camden’s web page.  The little rat is growing quick.  He’s been taking swim classes – Monkey’s and Minnows.  For half an hour he gets to climb around in a jungle gym, a BIG jungle gym and then its off “swimming” for half an hour.  Basically, he gets to blow bubbles, float and splash around, and pee in the water.  Sounds like when I went to the Shuswap, ‘cept the bubbles I had to blow…well, it wasn’t chlorine that burned my eyes.

Sometimes I forget my family reads this.

*DISCLAIMER – I’ve never blown Bubbles.


UK, Van Halen, and Dental Work

August 13, 2004

Matt f’ed off to England and is ripping it up over there, we’re all proud of our troops we send overseas.  I wound up finding out that Steve Patterson is over there as well after I tried to contact him when he gave me a virus…a computer virus, don’t be lame.  They performed together with Sean Collins at the Comedy Store.  Damn great show those people got.

Incidentally, I’m still waiting for a photo for your link Steve. 

I’m also getting a lot of pressure from folks to update the page more often.  I’ll do what I can, but I do update it.  Let’s call it “Covert Ops – Web Updates”, the changes are subtle and not always on the front page.  (Brilliant idea having my blog on the front.)  My bio is going to be a work in progress, moreso for me, so if you don’t find it entertaining – sorry.  I want to delve into my past to reveal more about who I am and what makes me act the way I do.  After the stunning revelation that I spent the majority of my formative years in the eighties, it all became clear…talking about my youth is a lot like…well…i haven’t been curb stomped (yet), but I think it may be similar. But, not unlike getting a good ol’ curb stomping, acknowledging my roots is a necessary part of growing as a human being…with less blood, smashed teeth, and shattered upper palate.

I’ve begun my journey by listening to more Van Halen. The drums at the beginning of “I’m Hot for Teacher” are righteous!

…This curb tastes funny. *CRUNCH*


John Deere and Sleepovers

July 16, 2004

This weekend past Matt Billon and I were performing through Saskatchewan.


It’s amazing how hard it is to find a John Deere hat through the prairies. We stopped in almost every small town on highway one, on the way up to Prince Albert, through to Saskatoon, on the way to Regina, and back to Calgary.


What was really weird was the reaction that I got for even asking.

“You want a hat?”


“What kind of hat?”

“Like a promo hat.”

“Maybe try up the road at the next town…or Burger King, I think they have promo hats.”

In other news, last night Toby Hargrave crashed at my place again.  In the past three years Toby has been the only house guest I have had.   I think I’m not going to allow any one else to stay at my place, comedians or family, to preserve the sanctity of the shrine now set up for Toby Hargrave…and by “shrine” I mean “the room that stores the spare bed,  bags of old clothing for the Salvation Army, and kids toys”.

I guess,  in a way,  it’s always been a shrine for Toby.



July 14, 2004

IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! the happy fun bus finally has a presence on the web.  I no longer refer to my stand up as “the Happy Fun Bus”, it’s been a looong time since I decided that to do so would be a detriment to the show.

NOW it can be a detriment to my web site.

Rather – it can BE the web site.

you know the rules.


Kerry Talmage

June 19, 2004
as we move through life and encounter obstacles that seemingly seem impossible, we forget those who have done far greater with worse odds. kerry talmage, a brilliant comedian, a thousand times more gritty than sandstone, and half your size, passed on to the great stage in the sky. his battle against kidney failure, heart attacks, bad road gigs, and rude club staff, came to an end june 17, 2004. a legion of people the world over miss him and will always remember him, and not just comedians, i believe there are nurses out there who will NEVER forget him. i hope that kerry has touched your life personally, and that you were offended. i think he would have liked it that way. he was a great man, a great, great man. he will be missed.


Purpose with Meaning…and Republicans

June 13, 2004

Damn.  I was out reading today.  I read Megan Fraser‘s online journal, Will Weldon‘s online journal, and Toby Hargrave‘s ongoing detailing of his comedic exploits.  I love these guys, they are living the dream, and they are great people.  They write from the hip.  It made me think about what I’m trying to accomplish with my web site.  I can’t say I want anyone to know what is going on personally in my life.  You’d shoot yourself.  Not to kill yourself, but to distract yourself with a nicely shot out kneecap.

“I read about Jasen’s personal life today.  Work, comedy, home life…”


“Ahhhh, that’s better.  Could you pick up my foot and shin?”


So I’d rather give you entertainment of another variety.  Crazy stuff I’ve found on the web that you can check out.  Good stuff.  Bad stuff.  Weird stuff.  Just interesting stuff to me.  You can’t get to know what makes me tick, but you can see what winds the clock.  That doesn’t make sense, but I don’t care.

Eric Blumrich.  Here’s a guy who has one or two opinions about the political affairs in the states.  Rather, he fucking hates republicans, more specifically, George W. Bush.  I’m surprized he hasn’t “disappeared”. 

I like the War Pigs video, Ozzy rules.

My take is I just can’t wrap my head around how it doesn’t bother people, en masse, that he’s former president George Bush Sr’s kid.  Just to point out a fact, this means he came from Barbara’s vagina.  It makes me itchy thinking about that.

Please don’t shoot out your knee, I’m done writing for today.


Wake Up Juice

April 23, 2004

this is nifty – coffee enemas. check out the part further down the page on how they tell you to cool the coffee for an hour. really?  let the coffee cool down you say?  well, isn’t there egg on my face, and second/third degree burns up my ass. 

“here’s your cafe americano sir,  did you want a ‘to go’ cup?” 

“uhhhh, kinda…”


Act One

April 11, 2004

here is my first attempt at a web log.  not that anyone cares.  perhaps anyone who publishes a web log should have their own sanity studied.  the development of an online “presence” seems paranormal.  “i’m detecting traces of a personality…set the DSM-IV®-TR to ‘psychotic’.

sorry for the confusion.