Archive for the ‘Comedy’ Category


Steaurus 2000

September 6, 2010

Steve Worth – Stearus 2000

Vodpod videos no longer available.


8 batteries, microwave, coffee pot, toaster, vcr dvd deck, 19″ TV, 5 exterior cameras, 9″/5″/2.5″ TVs, 5000 volt electrocution whilst repairing one of the TVs…

“After I blacked out for a few minutes, I woke up.”

Did you?  Have you woken up yet Steve?


…2X12V batteries, some computer fans (“off of a computer”)  zippered onto the hat (so he can remove the fans and  “wash the hat”), camel pack water tank (to spray water into the fans to make a swamp cooler), and he also has a hammer, roof shop vac, and can run a 10amp table saw…

And NOTHING said about his haircut.


Hitler’s dream FINALLY realized

August 30, 2010

Mongolian neo-Nazis: Anti-Chinese sentiment fuels rise of ultra-nationalism

Alarm sounds over rise of extreme groups such as Tsagaan Khass who respect Hitler and reject foreign influence

Tania Branigan in Ulan Bator, Monday 2 August 2010 16.13 BST

Their right hands rise to black-clad chests and flash out in salute to their nation: “Sieg heil!” They praise Hitler’s devotion to ethnic purity.

But with their high cheekbones, dark eyes and brown skin, they are hardly the Third Reich’s Aryan ideal. A new strain of Nazism has found an unlikely home: Mongolia…

Should the world cower in the face of the Aryan… uh… Mongoliaryan…  Areolaian…  Monorailaryan …race?

Looks like modern day followers of Hitler’s master plan seem to have lost the gist in the Mongolian translation.  Not a proud time for racists, we can all cheer for that.  This is right up there with Arabic Zionists based on business sensibility.  I think if you truly want National pride, maybe support your Olympic team or drum up a community event, that DOESN’T include swastikas and hate.  Like a bar-b-que, or beach volleyball round robin tourney,  or hire a stand up comedian…then again there may be hating afterward depending on the comedian.


Good news Wizards!

June 18, 2009

Finally, Wizards!  A convenient way to keep warm whilst leveling World of Warcraft, the SNUGGIE!

Why even leave your home?  Seriously, please stay in your home.  Don’t leave home.  It’s a harsh cold world out there, filled with people who like to leave their homes, who needs that?  Stay home.

Click here for amazing renaissance clothing deals!


Love it.


IQ Test – IQ Test

I question the inegrity of online IQ tests.  My theory is based purely on the fact I screwed up twice before I actually had it display on the internet.  Someone with a 151 IQ…

….wouldn’t be taking online tests on the internet.


Nice to know you

October 11, 2008


South Africa: Mystery hemorrhagic fever kills 3

GENEVA (AP) — — The U.N. health agency says it is investigating a mystery disease that killed three people in the South African city of Johannesburg.

The World Health Organization says the disease appears to be a form of hemorrhagic fever.

It says tests have proved negative for Ebola, Lassa fever, Rift Valley fever, Marburg fever and other main types of hemorrhagic fever.

WHO spokesman Gregory Hartl says the first death on Sept. 13 was a tour guide who had fallen ill in Zambia before being evacuated to South Africa. Two further deaths on Sept. 30 and Oct. 4. involved a paramedic and a nurse who treated the woman.

Hartl said Friday that 121 people are being monitored and WHO hopes to receive further test results by Sunday.

– International Edition


Stock market strife with looming economic collapse. 

George W. Bush running a country. 

Facebook changing its look. 

Now an unidentified hemorrhagic virus killing people and anyone within the vicinity.  Apocalypse?  I guess we’ll all see whether or not we need to kiss our asses goodbye on Sunday.





London, Not Ontario

September 17, 2008

I’m not sure how else to do it. 


Tommy Campbell. 

I’ve been performing comedy in clubs for almost 13 years now.  I believe I’ve known Tommy for at least ten of those.  He’s a Calgary boy originally and has relocated to London about five years ago.  He was my guide.



Here’s some pictures from the trip on Flickr.

Flickr London pictures

I dunno.  What can I say?  It was awesome.  I saw Tom Stade, Sean Collins, met some new great people, went to some great places, it was awesome.

It was London.



Did you even know I was gone?

August 28, 2008

So the web page is back up again.  My first post in over a year.

I’m in London, England next week.  I had to give up a gig in Moose Jaw for this.  I better make this good.

I love you all, more to follow.


PS – Merci Tomasz, mon ami sur le Montreal.  Je vous reverrai.


CSI: Retard

February 27, 2007

Wow.  I can’t believe how people never fail to make me feel good about myself.

Mother coached children to fake retardation
POSTED: 1246 GMT (2046 HKT), February 27, 2007

TACOMA, Washington (AP) — A woman admitted Monday that she coached her two children to fake retardation starting when they were 4 and 8 years old so she could collect Social Security benefits on their behalf…”

– International Edition

The RingerReally?  No kidding.

I have two kids.  I have enough trouble keeping them from acting like they are retarded.  This woman coached them to act retarded.    But she got paid for it, she got paid over $222000.  There  is not enough incentive to keep your kids from acting like they are retarded these days.

The Ringer PosterAn underlying issue is the overzealous use of the word retard by CNN.  I counted five on the page.  Not very PC.  

To add to the pile of retarditude, not only did this woman and her kids rip off legitimately retarded retards, but I am sure there is some sort of copyright infringement for totally stealing the premise for “The Ringer”…or the other way around.

I smell sequel.

In other news:

Five years’ jail for compulsive liar who posed as forensic expert

Karen McVeigh
Friday February 23, 2007
The Guardian

A conman who built his career posing as a forensic expert to dupe victims out of thousands of pounds was jailed for five years yesterday, as police began the task of re-investigating 700 cases in which he was involved.

Gene Morrison, 48, of Hyde, Cheshire, bluffed and lied his way through hundreds of trials, for almost three decades, fooling judges, barristers, solicitors and their clients into believing he was qualified.

He left school with no qualifications but gave evidence in cases involving armed robbery, rape, death by dangerous driving, unexplained death, drugs offences and questioned paternity…”

-Guardian Unlimited Network

CSI 4th SeasonAlso arrested…television shows CSI Miami, CSI New York, and CSI Las Vegas, after it was found the CSI teams were  in fact, actors.

“We lied to you.” 

– Lt Horatio Caine – IN FACT actor David Caruso commenting on CSI: Miami’s five seasons of  LIES

 Be careful out there people, you don’t know if that forensic investigating retard is legit or not.


Contest, Manolis, Working Comedians and Kids

February 21, 2007

Controversy abounds!  The third instalment of the Great Canadian Laugh Off, Calgary Search, was rife with drama.  Fouteen people were injured, three people arrested,  and two are being sought by police for questioning.

All right, no one was arrested or sought by police, and there were no injuries other than people’s pride.  Karen O’Keefe came on top, and she also placed first in the competition last night.  Mike Tod was selected to also carry on to the finals next week, and the fact that he is seventeen years old leaves him exempt from lame, implied, “adult” jokes…and a comedy prodigy of sorts.

Freddy and ManolisManolis Zontanos was the MC – a super guy from Hamilton who I met when I was out in Toronto.  He livened things up with his unique take on his life experiences, and kept the “machine lubricated”…I think he was referring to the show.  Check out his space…and he’s on the internet on MySpace.   You can also try to win a date with him – here.  See what he has in common with a fire extinguisher!


There was some tension when there was some objectionable claims made by a comic having “worked at Yuk Yuks for the past year”.   What he had intended was to imply he had been performing on the Yuks stage over the past year.  What he did not realise was how “…working for Yuk Yuks…” was going to be interpreted.  So, this guy’s five minutes of comedy now represents Yuk Yuks.   I don’t think he thought it through when he provided his introduction to Manolis.   After Nancy’s evaluation, I’m pretty sure he is aware of the difference now.

I suppose it’s one way to meet Yuk Yuk’s Management. 

On a happyfun family note here’s pictures of my kids:




Weekend, Joe Rogan, and HACKS

February 17, 2007

End of the week is finally here.  Valentines Day completed.  Birthday survived.  Long weekend ahead.  Family day to look forward to.

IMG_0095[1]The X92.9 radio spot went well, a couple of people mentioned they heard me.  Josh and James were good guys about having me around for a few minutes. 

The second week of judging was interesting.  I had the misfortune of having to ‘lose it’ on the first act.  My intention was to make it clear to “come prepared.”  You enter a contest where pe0ple are vyying for $25000, so why wouldn’t you, maybe, oh I don’t know, jot down a thought or two rather than “wing it” using lame dick references with the mic stand? 

Regardless, a sincere “congrats” go out to Don Woods for being the number one dude, and Chris Gordon and Trevor Buchanan for walking away with a tie for second.  They will make the next round for the Calgary finals.

In other news, Joe Rogan has outed a HACK recently which has caused quite a stir.  Too bad for the HACK in question where he has documented evidence against him.  It isn’t even worth mentioning his name as I have the belief that our name is what we are in this industry.  His name is HACK, and he epitomises the bottom of the barrel in the comedy industry.  You do not borrow material, you do not steal material, you do not HACK.

I agree with what Joe has written on his site where he states these HACKS get away with what they do, because no one holds them accountable due to fear of repraisal.  I honestly believe, as part of the sad, silent majority of fuming comedians, that we feel there is not a lot we can do as lesser knowns.  I have seen HACKS confronted where the reaction is textbook: classic denial.  I have seen the same thing where either they act like, or they are genuinely unaware of what losers they are.  Not only do they deny it, but they are astonished that anyone would try to discredit them.  Complete bullsh*t. 

Joe, you are truly a comedian’s comedian.  You are a hero.  Make that HACK your bitch.

Your plagarist, loser, no talent, bitch.


Great Canadian Laugh Off with Snow

February 13, 2007

Great Canadian Laugh OffTonight is the second night of judging for the Calgary selection for the Great Canadian Laugh Off.  I have a radio spot on  X-96.9 with Josh Holliday before we head over to Yuk Yuks to fufill our Judge duties.  I’m nursing a cold and can only hope I can bring the level of energy required for such tasks.

feb 13th snowAnd COULD THERE BE MORE SNOW?!?

…And it’s my birthday tomorrow…

Everyone have a happy Lupercalia!  I would encourage everyone to check out the link.  Valentines day was originally Lupercalia, “The Lupercalia observed a very ancient and sexy, possibly pre-Roman pastoral festival, held on February 15 to avert evil spirits and purify the city, releasing health and fertility…”  “…The object of the festival was, by expiation and purification, to secure the fruitfulness of the land, the increase of the flocks and the prosperity of the whole people. It survived until 494, when it was changed by Pope Gelasius into the feast of the Purification of the Virgin (then on February 14, now on February 2)…” “…Gelasius finally abolished the Lupercalia after a long contest. The feast of St. Valentine among a host of unknown martyrs was first declared February 14 by Pope Gelasius I in 496.”

And it has now evolved into a commercialized day of “love”, you know, for people who “love” to buy flowers, chocolate, and jewelry, or for others that “love” to feel alienated and lonely for not being in a relationship.  ‘Cause that is what Saint Valentine was all about.